Tag Archives: talking chicken
Magazine: Cirsova, issues #2 and #3
The hospital room isn’t clean enough for Heaven, but not dirty enough for Hell, so I guess I’m still alive. I close my eyes again and sleep. When I wake up, the captain is there, showing his badge to the nurses and telling them he won’t stay too long. He sits in a chair next […]
Magazine: Phantaxis Nov 2016
Phantaxis Nov 2016 The following intro story will confuse you if you haven’t read my spaghetti western intro story: My phone rings, waking me up at 5AM on a Saturday. Resisting the urge to throw it against the wall, I answer it. “You better have a good reason for calling.” “Oh, I do indeed, sir. […]
Magazine: Kzine #16
Kzine issue 16 I’m one of three gunfighters in a Mexican standoff, arranged in a triangle. Our only spectator in this western ghost town is an unarmed flute player, watching from the roof of the saloon. He plays his instrument. Tootely toot … toot toot toot. To my left is my nemesis, Talking Chicken. She […]
Magazine: Albedo One #46
A bowl of cereal in one hand, a jug of milk in the other, I head to the kitchen table. There’s no room to set down my breakfast, because a two-foot-tall man in a three-piece suit is stretched out there, snoring. I use my elbow to shove him off, and he hits the floor with […]
Video: Talking Chicken
Some of you may doubt my commitment to fighting the talking chicken menace. These videos, taken by bystanders during my fights with a talking chicken, should change your mind: This one has several sci-fi twists: There are about half a dozen of these things on youtube if you search something like ‘family guy chicken fight’. […]
Ubelieaveble!!! SEE The Chicken That Started Speaking In Arabic In Benue (LOOK)
There was panic yesterday among residents in Makurdi, Benue state after news of a ‘talking’ chicken went viral Apparently the said chicken was said to being taken to the market to be sold when suddenly it started speaking in Arabic. The incident was reported to have occurred at about 12 noon around the Wadata central…
Magazine: Sci Phi Journal Nov 2015
Sci Phi Journal #8 The orderly hands me a paper cup holding a pill — the pill that will make me forget about Talking Chicken. It’s one of those long, capsule-style horse pills. The doctors didn’t take the time to read my medical history; I have a narrow esophagus. I rotate the pill with my […]
Magazine: InterGalactic Medicine Show #47
Orson Scott Card’s InterGalactic Medicine Show, issue 47 The department took away my canine partner, my badge, and my gun, but I’m still going to take down Talking Chicken. I leave my car by the highway and walk, baseball bat over my shoulder. I ignore the signs saying “Rainbow Farms employees only”. The huge metal […]
Magazine: Apex Oct 2015
Apex Magazine Issue 77 I down the last of my Red Bull and crush the can, tossing it into the passenger footwell with the others. The pile of cans will reach onto the seat and mingle with the empty fritos bags soon. I rummage through the bags, but come up empty. I haven’t showered or […]
Magazine: Lightspeed Oct 2015
Lightspeed Magazine Issue 65 We got a call about a disturbance at the old Ferguson place. The house had been some rich guy’s mansion, then a nursing home, and most recently a failed bed and breakfast. We knew that empty places attract trouble (teenagers, meth cooks, and uglier things the people of the community pretend […]
Magazine: Galaxy’s Edge Jul 2015
Galaxy’s Edge Magazine – Issue 15 I’m shuffling through snowdrifts towards a Himalayan mountaintop temple. Why does it always have to be a mountaintop temple? Why can’t it be the ‘temple next to the burger king’? The wind dies down for a moment, giving me a glimpse of my goal through the blowing snow. Or […]
Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine #58
I keep my eyes on the rearview mirror as I speed across the Australian outback. Most of the pursuing vehicles are burning wreckage fading into the distance, but two are still on my tail. If I gunned the V-8 interceptor’s engine I’d lose them, but my fuel gauge is hovering just above ‘E’, so I’m […]
Planetary Defense Command 