Monthly Archives: October 2016
Dinosaur Wrangler
Before the place was shut down, I was a junior assistant dinosaur wrangler at Jurassic Park. They only let me deal with the really small dinosaurs: I paid attention during orientation, and I remember that if you see a dinosaur licking its chops, you should back away slowly before it eats you. Feel free to […]
Halloween Cat
To get you ready for Halloween, here’s a picture of Halloween Cat: I did a lot of my marine biology work on a small island off the coast of Catfish City. The island has a population of cats who are fed by the workers and researchers, and one group of these cats is Halloween-appropriate, as […]
Magazine: Shoreline of Infinity #4
Shoreline of Infinity #4 I perform a final check of my shark cage and SCUBA gear as our boat bobs up and down on a Scottish lake. The constable lies on the deck, drooling. I probably shouldn’t have darted him with enough tranquilizer to calm an angry plesiosaur, but he wouldn’t shut up about needing […]
I am the 40%
My short story received its second rejection this week. This rejection was from Fantasy & Science Fiction magazine. My previous rejection was from a magazine with a 96% rejection rate, and I turned around and submitted to a magazine with a rejection rate of over 99%. You might be thinking “doesn’t this guy learn from […]
Magazine: Albedo One #46
A bowl of cereal in one hand, a jug of milk in the other, I head to the kitchen table. There’s no room to set down my breakfast, because a two-foot-tall man in a three-piece suit is stretched out there, snoring. I use my elbow to shove him off, and he hits the floor with […]
Fairy Apocalypse
I came home from work and discovered that faeries had built little mushroom-houses in my garden. As the faeries have built homes, I’m declaring this a level 3 infestation. The protocols for responding to a level 3 infestation are so severe that, long ago, I had them placed in a sealed envelope, then erased from […]
Something for writers, something for readers
First, some news: I received a rejection letter for my first short story submission. I was originally going to give this post the pessimistic title of “Rejection #1”, because I’m a ‘glass is 96% empty’ kind of guy, not ‘glass is 4% full’. (According to The Grinder, 96% of stories are rejected at Analog magazine, […]
Magazine: Red Sun #1
Red Sun Magazine, Issue 1 I’d have known Old Man Brady was on his deathbed even if his nurse hadn’t told me. He raises a skeletal hand and motions me closer, then removes his oxygen mask to speak. “Thank you for coming. I’m sorry my wife couldn’t be here.” I don’t have the heart to […]
Planetary Defense Command 