Microfiction: Las Calles Rojas

Las Calles Rojas

Of course I won the contract to provide animals for the “Running of the Bulls” this year – my bid was well below any reasonable cost. The problem with bulls is that, like most large herbivores, their instincts tell them to run for open space, or at best to turn from threat to threat when surrounded by a pack. Predators, in contrast, pick a single target from a chaotic herd, and pursue it relentlessly until it is down. This is a trait that, thanks to the miracle of genetic engineering, my bulls now share.

The runners will try their usual tricks, hiding in alcoves and such, but my bulls run a daily training course, learning to strike pop-up targets on an exact replica of their future route. Previous runnings have resulted in a paltry handful of maulings, but through the power of science, we can do better!

It’s time for a couple of demotivators from Despair.com:

cautiondemotivatorCaution

traditiondemotivatorTradition

Advertisements

6 comments

  1. Poor freaking bulls. Like lab rats in a cultural maze.

  2. I love it. Great job.

  3. Are these bulls going to be remote controlled?

    1. Their instincts and training should allow them to pursue targets autonomously.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: